


Lonely

by mumofthreedevils



Series: Reminiscing [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:26:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumofthreedevils/pseuds/mumofthreedevils
Summary: It's been six months since Kylo left to finish his training. There hasn't been a word from him and Hux is feeling the pressure of loneliness for the first time in his life.





	

Hux stood on the bridge and marvelled at his surroundings. This ship, ‘his’ ship, was still a thing of beauty and an eternal source of pride to Hux. Particularly after the last year. After the destruction of Starkiller Base. His crew were a true source of inspiration for him and one of the things that helped hold him together in the months that followed. That and Kylo Ren.

As he looked at his crew, diligently performing their tasks, he couldn’t help the sudden overwhelming feeling he had. The feeling that, even though he was surrounded by people, he was in fact lonely.  
Everyone on board was a subordinate, with sworn loyalty to the First Order and to Hux. He was their superior and couldn’t be seen to have any kind of relationship with them and this meant he literally had no friends.

His only friend and his ‘mate’ had been gone now for 6 months. It was an inevitable separation. Kylo had recovered from the injuries he sustained just before the destruction of Starkiller Base and finally been deemed fit enough to complete his training with Supreme Leader Snoke. Hux had told himself that he would be able to handle it and had been totally shocked by his feelings in the months that followed. He’d had no contact from Kylo. Not a single message. It was almost as if Hux was mourning the bereavement of a loved one. 

Hux had never been lonely in his entire life. Even after being ripped away from his mother at an early age and being forced into the Academy on Arkanis, his life revolved around achievement. Hux had to fight his way to the top both mentally and physically. He had the brains to outmanoeuvre any of his classmates and he was consistently top of his academic classes. When it came to physical activities, he may have been scrawny in stature but he was a cunning fighter and what he lacked in brawn he made up for by fighting dirty, using his brains to outmanoeuvre and win at all costs. He didn’t have time for loneliness. 

Yet here he was, standing before the viewport and staring out at the passing galaxy and feeling utterly alone in spite of it. He heaved a heavy hearted sigh, turned and strolled back across the bridge to the meeting room. He sat himself at the head of the conference table and started to flick through his datapad at the day’s activities. He couldn’t help the feeling of having eyes on him and remembers how Kylo used to lurk in the dark corner during meetings before revealing himself to Hux when the room had cleared.

They had spent more than the odd occasion arguing in that meeting room before the events of Starkiller Base. He hadn’t taken kindly to being ordered to ‘share’ his command of the Finalizer with a spoilt brat. Hux smirked in spite of himself at his initial feelings towards Kylo.

He’d found the Commander to be argumentative, tantalisingly antagonistic and when not getting his own way, totally destructive. Hux had had to reprimand Kylo several times in this very meeting room for incidents resulting in the destruction of expensive equipment or even the loss of the odd Storm Trooper. Kylo had responded by getting into Hux’s personal space which Hux had noted, made him feel particularly…… aroused! He didn’t know at the time that Kylo, hiding behind his mask, knew exactly what he was doing to Hux and had taken great pleasure in doing it.

Hux decided that he’d had enough for the day and removed himself from his shift early. As he left the bridge and headed down the corridor towards his quarters, the ghost of Kylo was in tow. He missed the heavy footfalls of Kylo beside him. He barely noticed the various officers and troopers who stopped to salute him as he passed.

As it was on his way, he thought about getting something to eat in the main dining hall. Any kind of company would be welcome but as he stood at the doorway he was reminded of the day he and Kylo made their relationship public. It was right here in the main dining hall. Hux had been a little peeved after Kylo had appeared on the bridge and demanded that Hux take a break. They’d come here, to the main dining hall surrounded by Officers and Troopers and Kylo had told Hux that ‘it was about time their relationship was made public to stop any gossiping and in fact he didn’t want to hide Hux anymore’. He doesn’t know what made him do it but Hux then kissed Kylo across the table stunning the dining hall into silence as he and Kylo exited the hall with all eyes on them.

……..Hux decided to eat in his quarters. He uses his com to order a meal be taken to his quarters and continues on his way.

As he entered his quarters, that damned ghost followed him right in. Kylo was everywhere. Little reminders were all over Hux’s quarters as Kylo had literally moved himself in. Small objects with significance to Kylo had been placed on show around the quarters and Hux found himself picking them up and wondering what that significance was to Kylo. He made a mental note to find out when Kylo got back. When……. If!! 

Hux’s dinner arrives and he takes the tray to his dining table. One of Kylo’s robes had been carelessly thrown over the back of a dining chair. Here it was, six months later and still over the back of the chair. Hux couldn’t put it away. Instead he picks it up, the feel of the material is a strong reminder of a longed for embrace but the smell……. the scent of Kylo still lingers on the fabric. Hux brings the material to his face and inhales deeply. 

As he sits… alone… at the head of the table, the memory of their first informal meal together at this very table is suddenly very strong. It was the first time Hux had seen Kylo without his mask on. He remembers being enamoured with Kylo’s surprisingly young features, raven hair, dark eyes, full lips and soft deep voice. He remembers watching Kylo getting enthusiastically lost in conversation before being caught daydreaming about Kylo. 

When Kylo had coughed loudly to snap Hux out of his thoughts, Hux’s ears and cheeks had burned with embarrassment until Hux found out that Kylo shared the same thoughts. That was the moment the relationship had officially started.

Hux finds he’s suddenly not hungry anymore.

He pours himself a glass of his favourite brandy, turns the lights down to 20% and stands in front of his viewport to admire the passing stars. Even here, the ghost is invading his memories. The way Kylo would glide up behind him, placing a firm hand around Hux’s waist and then gently nuzzling and kissing Hux’s neck. The memory gives Hux goose bumps and a slight shiver down his spine. He’d never thought that being so close and intimate with anyone could feel so good. The thought of maybe never feeling that again scares him suddenly.

Hux chides himself, necks his brandy and heads to his fresher for a shower. He can’t remember ever feeling so isolated in his entire life. He feels like a robot. Work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep. The monotony of the loneliness is taking its toll and Hux really doesn’t know if he can take much more.

Standing in the shower, he closes his eyes and lets the water wash over him. He doesn’t even have the energy or the will to soap himself over and then that most intimate memory invades his thoughts. The first time he and Kylo had been intimate, here in this shower. Kylo had invited himself into the shower and the emotions took over. They were both so desperate as they furiously kissed and rutted against each other that they both came quickly and then just stood trembling and holding each other for the longest time. Hux wants that feeling again.

The memory makes Hux hard but he is in no mood to do anything with it. He dries himself off and stares at himself in the mirror. He looks tired. He looks miserable. His usually stoic and severe look has completely left him. Before he realises what he’s doing, he violently punches his own reflexion, shattering the mirror and making a complete mess of the knuckles on his hand.

It takes a few seconds for the pain to follow but Hux is grateful for the distraction of it. He runs his bloody hand under the tap and gently removes any lingering pieces of glass. He retrieves a bandage from his standard issue medical box and proceeds to wrap his hand. The whole incident has wasted just ten minutes of Hux’s torture. He heaves a sigh and heads for his bed.

Hux’s bed is the only real luxury in his quarters. It’s big and indulgently covered with cool black cotton sheets and pillows and as Hux stands naked at the foot of it he can’t help feeling how horribly empty it is. His mind wanders to the image of a very naked Kylo stretched out across the top of it snoring contentedly. Hux’s stomach ties itself into a knot and he grabs a thin cotton sheet and pillow and heads for his living room. 

He’ll sleep on the sofa tonight. 

The only light in the room, coming from the stars, leaves the smooth surfaces of Hux’s furniture dappled in all shades of blue. The corners of the room are deep pools of black and Hux shivers at the occasional thought of Kylo looming into view. Hux’s heart aches. His eyes steam over and as he closes them to try and find some rest, a single tear finds its way down his cheek. It takes the longest time for Hux to drift into a restless sleep.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sleeping but he’s woken by a dream. He’s laying on his sofa with his head in Kylo’s lap and Kylo is gently stroking his fingers through his hair. It’s a wonderful feeling and Hux doesn’t want the dream to end so he just lays there and languishes in his early morning sleepiness and this waking dream he doesn’t want to end.

As his alarm goes off signalling just one hour before the start of his shift, Hux sighs, but before he can silence it, it goes quiet on its own.

“Ignore it” a familiar voice says.

Hux squeezes his eyes shut tight. He thinks he’s still dreaming. He can still feel Kylo’s fingers in his hair.

“I’ve informed the bridge that you will be unavailable for your shift today” the voice says again.

Hux’s eyes shoot open and he finds himself staring directly into the dark brown eyes of Kylo. As Kylo looks down at Hux with a huge smile, his hair falls forward around his face. Hux can’t help himself, he reaches up and pulls Kylo down for a passionate kiss, his longing for Kylo becoming obvious under his thin cotton sheet.

Kylo pulls away for air and laughs. “I missed you too Hux”

Hux is up and straddling Kylo’s lap in seconds.

“When did you get back?” He beams at Kylo leaning in for another passionate display of affection.

“The early hours, I told the bridge not to wake you” Kylo says coming up for air. “I wanted to surprise you but when I saw you asleep on the sofa I couldn’t bring myself to wake you. Hux, why aren’t you in your bed?”

“It was too empty without you” Hux says, pulling Kylo’s cowl hood over his head and dumping it unceremoniously onto the floor.

Forgetting his own nakedness, Hux stands and pulls Kylo up after him. He’d forgotten just how intimidatingly big Kylo was and suddenly feels quite small and vulnerable exposed the way he is and grabs his sheet for modesty.

“Why now?” Hux demands “I haven’t heard a word from you in 6 months, why now?”

Kylo invades Hux’s space and starts to remove his robes. Hux steps back and nearly trips on the sheet that’s tangled around his feet and Kylo just smirks and continues to disrobe and getting into Hux’s space. Hux just keeps stepping away but Kylo is like a cat playing with a mouse. When he finally kicks his boots off and is left in just his trousers he makes one final move but Hux now realises he’s pinned against his viewport. Kylo marvels at the sight of Hux framed by a galaxy of stars.

“Hux your beautiful”

“D…don’t change the subject” Hux says breathlessly “Answer the question”

“My training is finished. I wasn’t permitted to contact anyone. It was deemed an unnecessary distraction” Kylo says leaning in to nuzzle Hux’s neck “Am I forgiven?”

Hux whimpers at the feeling of Kylo gently sucking and nibbling at his neck and, forgetting the cotton sheet that falls to the floor, he throws his arms around Kylo. Their kissing is furious, tongues searching for every opening and fighting for position. 

“Aaaah!...forgiven!” Hux shouts.

Hux starts to claw his way down Kylo’s back, his nimble fingers searching for and finding all of Kylo’s new scars. He makes a mental note to ask him about them later but for now he just wants Kylo inside him. His fingers find the fastening on Kylo’s trousers and then he drops them to the floor, swiftly followed by Kylo’s boxers. He’s pleased to find Kylo’s cock standing to attention and grabs it firmly as he chews his way across Kylo’s chest and when he finds one of Kylo’s nipples, he runs a tongue around it making Kylo cry out in an almost agonized ecstasy.

“Shit….lube” Hux says getting more than a little frustrated.

“It’s Ok” Kylo says, “I’ve got that covered” as he reveals a small tube of lube.

“Where did you?….. never mind…. I don’t want to know” Hux says with furrowed brows.

With Hux pinned firmly against the viewport, Kylo applies a generous amount of the cool viscous fluid to his fingers before carelessly tossing the tube and concentrating on Hux. He quickly finds Hux’s hole and massages the fluid around it before slipping two fingers in. He finds Hux more than a little ready and is now feeling quite needy and desperate himself after so long an abstinence. He lines his cock up with Hux’s hole and gently pushes in until he’s buried deep.

Hux moans loudly and brings his legs around Kylo’s hips to pull him closer. Kylo buries his head in Hux’s neck and starts to rock his hips back and forth. Hux throws his head back onto the viewport and takes two firm handfuls of Kylo’s hair. It suddenly occurs to him that he hopes there’s no scheduled Tie pilot training at this hour. With his bare backside being rammed firmly against the viewport, he’d be giving the pilots quite an eyeful.

Kylo’s legs begin to buckle so he manoeuvres Hux away from the viewport and onto the floor where he continues his merciless pounding.

“Fuck!....Kylo….I’ve…..aarrhh!……missed……you…..unf!!.....so…much!” 

They both hit the euphoria of their orgasms together, moaning loudly and then Kylo collapses his entire weight on Hux still buried deep inside him, too breathless to move. They are both covered in sweat and their hearts are pounding and they are trembling uncontrollably.

Hux feels ‘claimed’ once again and with Kylo still on top of him, his feelings of loneliness are forgotten.

“Don’t do that again”

“Do what?” Kylo says looking a little concerned about his performance.

“Leave me” Hux says softly kissing Kylo’s ear.

“Never again Hux. I promise”


End file.
